Alan Bstard Rik Mayall RIP

Vote for the NPA house painting party this Election!

Vote for Never Paint Again! Vote for change!

Yes today sees many thousands of British people going to the Polls in the UK to vote, but wait, there is another box to tick, another vote that you can right now, a positive vote, a vote to not have to paint the outside of your home EVER AGAIN!

Britain needs change: few can doubt that. Yes, your eyes don’t deceive you, you CAN vote for change and vote for a better Britain, starting with your house and it’s external appearance.

Here at the “Never Paint Again party”, we want to see Britain’s streets full of Freshly painted houses with smiling happy customers outside!

Why repeat the misery under the previous administration, of dark, damp houses full of unhappy people, sad at the fact that each year they have to call the local painter who charges them a few thousand to brush over some coloured water onto their house?

“It’s a national scandal!”

Time after time my constituents come up to me, quite often after eating garlic for some reason, and explain to me in considerable detail, how unhappy they are about having to pay, each year, to have their houses painted.

Vote for Never Paint Again

If we join together, if we act decisively, and move forward with optimism, we can ensure that all homes, within reason, across the country are maintenance free and do not represent a drain on the already dwindling resources of the typical family budget, a budget that was squeezed into submission by the previous administration.

They, the people of this country, say they want change, they say they want to not have to paint the house again, make no mistake, we can deliver our promise!

However, they also say for years they have called the same painter and decorator to paint the house, and their parents did that before them, and they tell me they want change but they dont know HOW.

Well this is what the Never Paint Again “manifesto” promises to you.

We promise to:

  • Have a clear policy on pricing with no hidden surprises.
  • Cure all damp in the homes of our “constituents”
  • Carry out all needed repairs to  properties across the nation
  • Ensure the paint on EVERYONE’S home DOES NOT fade, crack or peel again!
  • Guarantee that homes will not need painting for AT LEAST the next 20 years!
  • We will save money for each citizen with a Never Paint Again Wall coating!

Only together, we can make these changes; only together can make the homes of Britain free from the yearly turmoil of exterior painting. Only together can we mend the broken houses across the nation and only together can we can save the home owner literally thousands, and I DO MEAN thousands, of unnecessary expense over the next few years. And if we can do that, we can do anything.

“Yes, together we can do anything.”
So my invitation today is this: join us, to form a new kind of exterior wall finish for Britain.

How can you vote for us?

Nick clegg MP

Its easy. After you leave the polling booths today and return home, simply return to this website and CLICK ON THE CONTACT FORM HERE and submit details about your home and why you are unhappy with its present state.

Then one of our team will call you back to discuss how we can facilitate the change that you desire!

Together, we can make changes to the homes across the nation! 🙂

EDITORS NOTE: This is of course a light-hearted spoof article for your enjoyment, we do NOT infer that we are a political party, nor am I an MP! Thank you. If you enjoyed this article, please pass it on to your friends and work colleagues but make sure links back to our website remain.

The above is, as told, to G A bell, editor.

And this is what Michael Portillo had to say

This page is dedicated to the memory of Rik Mayall
This page is dedicated to the memory of Rik Mayall who sadly passed away in 2014

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